A Lesson Learned and Relearned

It seems that no matter how many times I'm reminded of the preciousness and fragility of life, I still find my attitude often stinks. I pull myself out of bed, shuffle into the kitchen, ask the kids what they want for breakfast, and then set about my day with the enthusiasm and energy of an amoeba. I complain inwardly and outwardly about how my husband works too much as if this is an excuse for my lackluster attitude.
Last night was no exception to this scenario. Jeff had been on call for Baylor Plano all weekend and I had felt sorry for myself about how we don't get to have fun weekends like "normal families" do. As we got ready for bed, he, of course, got called back into work to admit a patient. He thought he would probably return home in a couple of hours. I woke up several times throughout the night, wondering why he was not home yet. I called his phone twice about 3:00 a.m., but he didn't answer. I thought about how he had probably been murdered by some crazy who was out at the same crazy hours that he was out. I figured that I would be getting a call from the police in a few hours after they found his body. (I watch too many real-life mystery shows.) I prayed for his safety and then fell back asleep.
Jeff returned home about 5:00 a.m. I got up, went to the restroom, and then planned to fall promptly back asleep. I looked over and heard Jeff sobbing. Now, this is an extremely rare occurrence in the 15 years that I've known Jeff. He deals with death and dying on a daily basis in the course of his career, and I've always thought that he has a unique personality for dealing with it. He is kind and compassionate, but he knows how to put up a wall so that his empathy does not incapacitate him. But a case at work tonight had really affected him.
He said that a 46-year-old woman came into the ER with a sore throat. They later found her in the ER room coding, the physicians got her heart beating again, and they sent her to the OR to get a catheter put in her heart. She was later sent to the ICU, where Jeff took over her care. She continued to code and to barely hang onto life. Jeff had to tell her husband, who a couple of hours earlier thought she simply had a sore throat, that she was going to die. And I think what really got to Jeff was that she had three sons--14, 15, and 16-years old. The woman had no previous serious health issues. Jeff said all of the staff and nurses were crying.
Now, I take for granted that Jeff can deal with the heaviness of his calling in life with his usual stoicism. But, occasionally, a case like the aforementioned one really affects him. And I just don't think we can be reminded enough that our lives can change in an instant. We are not guaranteed a certain number of years on this earth. God knows the number of hairs on our head and the number of days in our lives, but WE do not.
So, this morning, as I pulled myself out of bed after a very restless night, I determined, again, to live with more purpose and appreciation.

Halloween 2009

Even though I should be thinking about Thanksgiving and I've already been Christmas shopping, I wanted to take a moment to add my favorite Halloween picture from this year. Grant was a storm trooper this year following on last year's showing as Darth Vader. The Cinellos graciously gave us Charlotte's sweet bumblebee costume so it was not only precious but free to us!
My favorite Halloween memory occurred when Grant was four. He had eaten his dinner and asked for ice cream on Halloween night. I said, "I don't think you should have dessert tonight. You're going to be eating a lot of candy later." His expression changed to dismay and defensiveness, "But, Mrs. Willis told us not to eat any candy tonight, because we have school tomorrow!" Always my literal child who has had a difficult time learning when to take a joke. (Although his Poppy has been working on that!) When I told Mrs. Willis what he had said, she said "Well he was probably the only one listening!"

They Say the Darndest Things

Today Charlotte said one of her baby's name's is Elizabeth. She is New Baby's sister. New Baby is now known as Elazabeth. (A cross between Elizabeth and Lazarus?) Her newest baby's name (but not to be confused with New Baby) is Sooroh. Grant said maybe she is trying to be like the Duggars and have 18 babies.

A Virgin Blogger

Well, I've joined the blogging world. I am treading lightly into this murky world of blogging.--I'm sure that no one is going to read this. I've always given myself a guilt trip that I'm not a scrapbooker, I don't blog, and I'm terribly inconsistent about writing down milestones and the funny things my kids say and do. Does perusing Facebook and spending countless hours observing other people's lives count for some kind of communication about my life that is so fascinating and mundane at the same time? (That's a rhetorical question.)
So, here I am on a mission to record the minutes and everyday thoughts that are quickly slipping away. Maybe if no one ever reads this I will feel a small amount of satisfaction for having accomplished something. Sometimes it's hard to form a complete thought with the mayhem in my busy household and busy life. And my goal is to form a complete blog post??
I hope this experiment fares better than the organic garden that was my project for the spring.